Monday, December 30, 2013

The walking salesman...

I walk.

A lot.

I have a knee that requires exercise to keep mobile, and said knee prevents me from things like jogging,  seriously, a half mile run will leave it hurting and swollen, so... I walk.

The thing is, in Texas, walking its unusual. 

Of course, in the summer, 100+ temps make it hellacious,  and in this area, where most people live around 30 miles from their job, it often seems like we're physically attached to our vehicles.  One of my good friends, who jogs 5 miles three days a week, will not walk 2 blocks to his mother's house.  For most people in this state, walking is just not an option. 

Except for me.  I walk,  a lot.

Usually, I walk about 2 miles, every couple of days.  But, periodically, about once a month, I get a bug up my nose, and I decide to do a long walk.  I'm about 4 and a half miles from the center of town, and the post office, and I got it in my head to walk it.  I had an Etsy package that needed shipped, and I decided I could make a quick stop at the drug store for a small item I kept forgetting on the way back. 

I was about halfway along, plugging down the sidewalk of a busy four lane road, when a cop car pulled up.

Two officers got out. 

"Can I help you?"  I asked.

Cop 1 answered, "we got a call that a vagrant was walking through the neighborhood."

He was practically rolling his eyes.  His body language, his intonation, everything about him said flat out that he knew this was a bull crap call, but he had to do his job.

Cop 1:  so you haven't been sneaking through peoples yards our anything, right?

Me: just walking down the sidewalk.  That's why it's here, right?

Cop 1:  pretty much.

So, basically some nervous Nellie didn't want a member of the public walking on a public road. 

The cops have no legitimate reason stop me, but a call was made and he had to go through the motions. 

So cop 1 goes to call on his radio, and me and cop 2 just stand there. 

Cop 2:  So.  Where you heading?

Me:  post office.   Gotta mail this. 

Cop 2:  that's cool.

Both of us:  bored sigh. 

Cop 2:   long walk. 

Me:  yeah.  Nice day for it tho. 

Cop 2:  yes sir it is.  Where'd you get that?

Me:  what?  Oh the skull patch?  I made it.  Sell them on line, and at the flea market. 

cop2:  you made that?  (Leans closer)  is that crocheted?  My wife crochets.

Me:  yeah.

Cop 2:  that looks cool.  my wife would be so into that.  What you get for those?

So basically, some yuppie called cops on the terrifying vagrant, and I got customers out of it. 

That's just how I roll. 


  1. oh damn! what a story!!! Unbelievable! you got me laughing about making sales with the whole deal!!! ha! I'm really sorry you got stopped though. Sad.

  2. Wow!!!
    What an interesting walk..opppsss.. I mean story..