new years

The last year, actually the last three years, have been an emotional roller coaster.  Some of this was my fault and my own bad decisions, for which I take full responsibility, I'm not a drunk, I'm not on drugs, so I can't blame no one and nothing but myself for it.  Some of this was just the world at large, and I got caught in the same hole other people did.  That's the way it is.

This day, the first day of the year, is traditionally when we feel somehow obligated to look at the past and muster up what hope we can for the future.

When you've been on a roller coaster, hope is sometimes in short supply.

I have a list of things I am grateful for.

I am creative.  I am talented.  I am healthy.  I am a good friend.  I am inventive... the list goes on...

The only thing I can think of for a resolution is this... I promise to not be so hard on myself, and to take better advantage of my talents.

Right now,  I'm sitting in a guesthouse waiting to see if I'm homeless.

The owner tried to kick out a young lady last week, and I stood up for her because I knew she had paid because I was standing at the desk when it happened.  However, since she paid in cash, and the only record is a file that seems have disappeared... she was out on the street.

The file turned up 6 hours later, but now I'm a troublemaker, and my rent is a day late... I've already got a job lined up for tomorrow, but that won't matter... he's gunning for me.  He kicked out a mentally ill man last week whose government check got delayed, and kicked out someone on Christmas Eve in the rain... he's a real class act...

Of course, even the Salvation Army is closed, or at least the intake offices are, so if I'm out, I'm on a street, all the other guesthouses are filled to capacity, (the sugar bowl is in town and New Years is a very big day down here) and I'll be on a street for a night. I can survive that, I just don't want to...

We'll see what happens...